Just returned from my annual holiday. This year, it was London, Paris, and a few other stops in between, or in the near vicinity.

Taken from my notes -yes, I thought it would be prudent to keep a journal to refresh my 'holiday-spirited' brain- here's a review of the various museums and galleries that I based my trip upon. That is, other than the pubs!

The Tate Gallery, London

I really only visited the Tate to see the J.M.W.Turner pieces, and the couple of Francis Bacon works that they have there. I'm not that big of a fan of 20th century contemporary art, -other than a few select New York artists.

The beautiful building that houses the art is situated right along the Thames. It's almost as beautiful as some of the works that I enjoyed. Well lit, and not too overwhelming.

4/5

National Gallery, London

Truly a world class gallery -if not one of the best. Right up there with the Prado, and the Uffizzi.

Again, this gallery is not too overcrowded with works. One doesn't overdose on art as rapidly as with other Galleries.

Unfortunately, it loses a point for the annoying reflections on some of the art due to the poor positioning of the overhead lights.

4/5

The Imperial War Museum, Lambeth, London

Absolutely stunning. Brilliantly laid out. An fantastic example of how to display both small and large (tanks, fighter planes, etc.) pieces. Perfectly captures the stories and sentiments behind 20th century British conflicts around the world.

5/5

National Portrait Gallery, London

Well done, but again, suffers from annoying overhead light reflections. Also, a lot of the pieces that were highlighted in the guide book were absent. Probably on loan to other Galleries, or on travelling exhibits.

3.5/5

National Maritime Museum, Greenwich

Looked good, but couldn't stay long to see everything. Fuckin' 'ell!!! There was an 'orrible steel band in the foyer of the museum making such a racket that I had to rush through certain parts.

On assumption, I'll give it a 3/5

St. Pauls Cathedral, London

Not a gallery per se, but more like a gallery of the dead.

Horatio Nelson, The Duke of Wellington, Sir Christopher Wren are a few of the notables interred there.

It's £9.50 (about $20.) to get in -to a church, no less, but at least this affords one the opportunity to get ripped off in their souvenir shop. Hey…….. every church should have a souvenir shop.

I noticed fridge magnets of Lord Nelson on display right beside those of his mistress, Emma Hamilton. Apparently the church has no problems selling you junk depicting known adulterers, as long as they can make a buck. Try as I might though, I couldn't find a fridge magnet of his actual wife Fanny. I guess she's not worth the bucks.

I did, however, fork out £25.50 for a beautiful pewter beer stein engraved with the action of the battle of Trafalgar.

……every church oughtta sell beer steins!

2/5

Royal Naval Museum, Portsmouth, England

High marks for having actual ships you can enter, and tour. H.M.S. Victory (Nelson's ship at Trafalgar), H.M.S. Victory, etc., all lovingly restored to their original condition.

However, unlike London, where every gallery and museum is free, one has to pay admission to the RNM, as well as pay for each ride, I mean attraction. I only paid for the HMS Victory.

The exhibits in the buildings were superb.

4/5

Ze Loov-RUH, Paree

The most famous gallery in the world. Unfortunately, also the busiest. Inundated with American tourists who absolutely MUST see La Jaconde (The Mona Lisa), even though they don't understand why.

The first time I visited the Louvre, I was absolutely appalled at the rugby-like scrum in front of da Vinci's most famous piece. People shoved each other out of the way in an attempt to jockey into a better position to take a photo with their shitty little camera -even though there are signs everywhere telling you not to.

That's what a room full of assholes looks like.

Having been there before, I knew that I should get there early on a middle of the week day. I arrived at 9:30 on a wednesday morning, and the place was quite tolerable.

The only thing I can criticize the Louvre for is that it's too goddamned big. It would be a hell of a lot more user friendly if it was split into two, or maybe even three separate galleries.

4/5

La Musee D'Orsay, Paris

Impressionist art is another style that I'm not that big on. There is, however, an entire room dedicated to the works of Henri Toulouse-Lautrec. Spectacular!

5/5

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