In the early seventies, Canada officially converted to the metric system, in effect pulling the rug out from under all of us school kids who were just coming to grips with 16oz. in a pound, or 16 liquid oz. in a quart.

We were convinced that the metric system was much more 'user friendly' (a term that, to my knowledge, didn't exist back then) and that it was the way of the future. It would simplify all of our units of measurement, thus, showing the world that Canada was a forward looking, and progressive country.

Charts, and conversion guides were hastily drawn up so that we could compare, and convert the old to the new. Conversion formula were printed in newspapers, so that we could supposedly speak and understand the new language.

Here's a real beaut, to show just how simple our lives could be:

Let's try converting 68 degrees Farenheit to celsius 5/9(68-32)

Step 1: 68 less 32 is 36
Step 2: 5 divided by 9 is 0.5555555555555
Step 3: multiply the repeating decimal by 36
Step 4: your solution is 20

Easy, huh?

To put it bluntly, and mildly, we were fucked over.

Don't get me wrong here, I'm a staunch supporter of the metric system -it is a better method- the problem lies not with the system itself, but how it's been (non)implemented.

O.k., I know how much a litre is (thanks to beer) and I've got a pretty good idea of how much a gram is- (nevermind)

But that's pretty much it. No matter how I try, I still convert K's to miles in my head, and I still think in terms of feet and inches. I'm 6 foot 3 and-a-half inches tall, but I can't tell you how tall I am in centimetres.

Part of the problem is that when we (supposedly) converted, to save costs, manufacturers just converted to the system without changing sizes. A great example of this is the pop can.

I don't know about you, but I'd be having a hard time remembering that Mom told me to pick up a  four-hundred-and-seventy-three ml bottle of 'Big Mouse' whiskey on my way back from my therapy session………

That's like saying that it's only 5,760 feet (one mile) to the hobby shop. (liquor store)

What The Fuck???

Then, there's the 'forgotten' units. Where the hell is the decimetre when you need it? Where's the decilitre, the decametre, the hectagram, the mamogram, the telegram?

The system is base ten, and as such, we were told that we could use it much easier just by looking at our fingers, (unless, of course, you're Hound Dog Taylor) or moving a decimal point over one or two places.

Unfortunately, like most things in life that are supposed to make our lives simpler, we end up making things much more difficult.

To this day, I still see units of measurement in the newspapers that are old English. Or even better (or worse, as the case may be) metric units followed by the old English translation.

The best though, has got to be the yanks, -who don't even officially use the metric system- changing the spellings so that instead of metre', we get 'meter'; from 'litre', comes 'liter', and from mosquito, we get 'skeeter………'

Shall I say it again? Sure, why not……..

'What the Fuck?!?'

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