Sometimes, someone will ask me where the name 'Brokenjoe' came from. If I'm not in the mood (lazy) to bullshit something crazy about it's origins, I'll tell the truth.

My friend John Scott came up with it. That's what he used to call me from time to time.

He's an artist. Some of the drawings that I've included in my posts are his.

I could tell you stories about him that are so outrageous that you would NEVER believe them, but if you ever were to meet him, you'd understand that they could be entirely possible. 

Here's a couple of paragraphs I wrote about him for someone's website a while back:

John is by turns one of the funniest, most intelligent, and creative people I have ever met.

A while back, I wrote a blurb about not trying. It's sort of a philosophy of mine.

A couple of days ago, I rec'vd an email from someone with whom I was in contact with some time ago, and had requested some of my rail photos.

Sure, no problem.

THEM: "What would you like for the rights to use them?"

ME: "Uh……… don't worry about it. How about a photo credit….."

So, as it turns out, I've got myself my first ever magazine cover shot. Apparently, it's a biggie too. The 75th anniversary edition of Canadian Rails Magazine.

(The above shot is of CP8759 ES44AC ( -not- the shot used. As soon as I can link to the magazine cover, you can be sure I will!)

just kidding….

Not a week goes by that I don't get "Hey, did anyone ever tell you that you look like Tom Waits?". It's really starting to piss me off.

Then when I open my mouth to speak, they usually follow it up with something like "Holy shit! You even sound like him!"

Listen up all you little punks! I DON'T LOOK LIKE TOM WAITS! TOM WAITS LOOKS LIKE ME!!! As far as I know, he quit smoking a couple of decades ago, whereas I come by this hoarse and gravelly intonation honestly.

Show a little fucking respect for my two pack a day habit, will you?

And as for this drowsey eyed, vacant demeanour of mine? Again, as far as I know, Waits quit drinking years ago. I'm still going strong.

This monkey of mine is expensive. How about cutting some slack for my tenacity? Huh?

Here. You tell me

Tom Waits:

Et moi:

O.k., I can see the resemblance in the ears, -maybe- but beyond that, you'd be hard pressed to come up with any other similarities.

Pity, because I AM a huge Waits fan, but unfortunately, I really don't admit it to anyone because then they'll think I'm one of those psychotic uber-fans that are trying to assume the personality of the one they worship so dearly.

Trust me, I've got enough mental problems as it is with out having to compound them by fucking with my own identity.

Last nite, I watched a movie called 'Thank You For Smoking.'

Hilarious.

I'm not gonna get into the plot, other than to summarize that it's basically about 'spinning' facts or statements to make them work to your own benefit.

It really got me to thinking about something quite similar: How we are utterly dependant upon using lawyers to solve our problems, or explaining the law to us.

I remember hearing in a movie, or reading somewhere that 'justice isn't about the truth, it's about conflict resolution.' In other words, as I see it, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong, what matters is resolving the dispute.

How fucked is that? Truth, or right and wrong are not the issue. They are just 'ingredients' that flavor the final taste of the stew…….

Lawyers have their own language of subterfuge that they use, so that we're at their mercy. They'll use bullshit like 'notwithstanding' when 'in spite of' works just as good; 'modalities', when 'conditions' would be more understood; 'hypothec', when 'absolute right' would be fine; ………therin, thereof, therefrom, hereof, herein, hereby, hereinabove, -and a mountain of other bullshit adverbs, and prepositions that are guaranteed to make your head spin.

(All of the above words were actually gleaned from a legal document I have right here in front of me)

Pepper a couple of paragraphs with that kind of gibberish, and you can see why you'd need a translator, uh, lawyer.

The few times I've had to deal with lawyers in my life, I figured that if I just clearly articulated myself, the issue at hand could be immediately resolved. That wasn't the case. I can't speak the language.

One time, a few years ago, I had a dispute that looked like it was going to go to court. I thought to myself 'No problem. I'll just clearly explain my situation to the judge, and everything will work out fine.'

However, after thinking about it for a while, I began to think that things might not be so cut and dry. In a perfect world, I used to think that stating the facts as you know them, would get to the bottom of things, and any judge would be able to sort out the mess.

Now, I'm not so sure. Lawyers like to spout shit like 'Anyone who represents themselves in a court of law, has a fool for a client.' In other words, even if you do tell the truth, and do state the facts correctly, it doesn't mean that you will resolve your problem.

Sad, isn't it? We like to delude ourselves into thinking that the truth shall set us free.

Unfortunately, that isn't always the case.

After watching 'Thank You For Smoking' last nite, I wondered why no-one has written a story/script/play about how we're so utterly dependant upon lawyers in matters of business, finance, etc……. A film that pointed out how most of us are completely lost when it comes to dealing with lawyerspeak.

Then I realized why: A movie like that wouldn't get made. It'd be blocked by an ocean of lawsuits from a gaggle of lawyers trying to keep their trade secrets safe………….

I had an interesting discussion with a musician friend the other day about where song ideas come from. We were talking about the strange phenomena of picking up a different instrument and being influenced to play something other than what you'd normally play.

What I mean is, if you're a guitar player, sometimes, it happens, that if you pick up someone elses guitar, all of a sudden you find yourself playing, or discovering new things -even though the instrument might play and sound similar to your own.

Us musicians get used to patterns, sounds and how things feel to us, but if it's even slightly altered, strange things start happening. We start playing and hearing things differently. If we're lucky, it'll be something we like and we'll stick with it until we've got a new song or melody.

Some songwriters like to say that 'this old guitar still has a few good songs left in it', meaning that the guitar will eventually reveal more melodies to them (I've yet to own or play an instrument that gives me lyrics to songs, but the way things have been going in my head lately, it might not be too far off…..)

Lots of times though it backfires on us, and we think to ourselves 'this guitar is shit/hard to play/doesn't sound right etc., but when it's on, it leads us in new directions and ways of 'hearing things that we may never have thought of.

I know, that I've grabbed other musicians instruments, and they've seemingly told me what to play/do.

Of course, it's not the instrument speaking to you -inanimate objects don't talk to you (well, in my case, not too much) But what it is, is letting yourself be influenced by something slightly different than what you're used to.

I've been experiencing this strangeness lately, having bought a new guitar a short while back. New songs just keep 'falling' on me. This new guitar seems to be absolutly teeming with songs.

Naturally, the pessimist -ooops- REALIST in me, wonders how much longer it's gonna last…..

I gotta tell you………. there has to be something in the water in Brantford. I mean, we've played there a few times now, and EVERY time we're there, we know we're gonna have a great time.

Last nite's show at Warmington's Bistro had to have been one of the best receptions we've ever gotten. The folks there are down to earth, very friendly, and intent on having a good time. It really is a 'you can't lose' situation!

We played a couple of new songs -which were well recieved, as well as all of our other junk, and it never ceases to amaze me that from time to time, when I look out in the crowd (I sing with my eyes closed a lot) people are singing along to my songs.

I brought a bunch of cd's to sell at the show last nite, and although I didn't sell a single one, it didn't bother me in the least. They all own copies of it already!

Thank you Warmington's Bistro!

(The above shot is a photo of the custom tickets that they made for the show. Don't we look snazzy as cut-out, pop-ups?)

We'll be back in Brantford tommorow nite, playing at Warmingtons Bistro which is at 42 George st. (770-4941)

It's gonna be a hoot! I'll let you know how it goes, -if I survive!

Hunkered down to watch the Simpsons this afternoon, and accidentally caught the end of Oprah. (O.k…….. that's a lie -I'm a fucking Oprah addict)

Seems Cormac McCarthy has won the pulitzer prize for 'The Road.'

Congrats. It's a great novel. Unfortunately, when I bought my copy, I only bought it on the condition that the 'Oprah Book Club' sticker could be peeled off.

How embarassing.

I wonder if she actually reads the books that she recommends? I seriously doubt it.

If so, it makes me wonder if she's read other C.M books?

Do you suppose she was shocked at 'Child of God's' necrophilia scenes, or 'Outer Dark's' hillbilly incest scenes?

Or at the very least, the sentimentally poignant scalping scenes in 'Blood Meridian.' 

I wonder how shocked she was at the scene with the baby being cooked on a spit so it could be eaten in 'The Road?'

Wonder if she enjoyed them……….

How did this happen? Why did this happen? How can we prevent it from ever happening again?

I'll tell you how and why:

Human beings snap sometimes. We are capable of horrific atrocities of the coldest kind.

But we forget this.

We go on with our lives, dealing with our little human affairs (as we should) but occasionally something like the Virginia Tech massacre, the Oklahoma City Bombing, or 9/11 happens, and shocks the hell out of us.

Questions like, 'how can this have happened?' 'Why me?', and statements like, 'I just don't understand how this could have happened' and 'he seemed like such a normal young man' are repeated over and over again.

That's just it.

He was a 'normal young man' -just like us. But something in his head went seriously askew, and he was able to rationalize, and justify his psychotic actions.

Of course, there is going to be the inevitable back-lash that follows these tragedies. Calls for changes to gun laws¹; probably -considering how cautious, and paranoid America has become, post 9/11,- calls for more racial screenings for who is allowed to come into the country², etc………

But at the end of the day, WE have to take a long hard look at ourselves (which, unfortunately, isn't going to happen) and admit that we are ALL capable of doing terrible, terrible things.

Rarely, do they manifest themselves in the way that events unfolded yesterday, but when they do, we're all deeply shocked, and gravely puzzled by how something so awful could have happened.

We are human beings. For the most part, we adhere to concepts of common sense, and logic, to sustain an harmonious existence. But we forget that we are animals. We forget (or fail to acknowledge) that many times we defy logic, and common sense. We delude ourselves into thinking that we are the glorious product of a million years of evolution.

But we sometimes rationalize things in our heads, that are completely 'wrong', or counterproductive. On a small scale, we ALL do this.

You could say that the person who carried out the shootings yesterday was mentally deranged -I certainly would- but I also believe that we're all mentally deranged to a certain extent. Given a particular sequence of events we could ALL kill. We can ALL commit atrocities. Here's proof.

Mark my words: There are going to be lawsuits brought against either the local police, the local government, or the University itself, because the families of the victims will feel that 'someone has to pay for this.' I'm not trying to say that said organizations didn't fuck up (I don't know either way) but it strikes me as supremely ironic that lawsuits should be brought against someone or some organization for a problem that lies within all of our hearts.

Although I AM in favor of much tighter restrictions regarding guns, even getting rid of them altogether is not going to solve the problem.

Sadly, these types of tragedies will happen again, and again, and again……………..

¹Pretty stupid when you think about it. Granted, guns should be controlled a lot more than they are -especially automatic weapons, that serve absolutely no purpose other than to kill, but the point I'm trying to express here is that in two other catastrophic events in the last decade (Oklahoma City, and 9/11) guns were not to blame. People were.

²Also, pretty stupid. Timothy McVeigh was not a foreigner. He was home grown.

Had another movie nite last saturday with my seven year old pal Gabey. I decided to get a copy of 'Chicken Run' which he's seen before, but I haven't. I had heard good things about the movie, and having seen several 'Wallace and Gromit' shows before, figured I was in for a lively evening.

Wrong.

The fucking show knotted me up, almost from the very beginning.

Here's my take:

You're a film maker. You decide to make a movie about some chickens busting out of a hen house overlorded by some evil chicken farmer (who is really just a poor woman trying to increase her fortunes) And to actually make a plot and develop some characters, you've got to make it so the chickens can talk, and have personalities.

As chicken/humans, the chickens are aware of their plight, and realize that they're all eventually going to be butchered. Of course, these chicken people decide to do something about it………

WHAT THE FUCK?????

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