I swear to god, sometimes I think that  a lot of this junk thats supposed to be helping make our lives easier, is creating more problems than it's worth.

When I was about thirteen or so, I used to watch a lot of t.v. Too much t.v. Enough to make my parents worry.

My best friends were the couch, and my home made channel changer.

At that time, there wasn't such a thing as a remote -at least not to anybody that I knew, but one day, I had an idea. I figured that if I just cut a slot in the end of a broom handle, it would neatly fit over the dial on our t.v. Our 'box' had a channel dial that had a flat protrusion that stuck out like a blade, which was designed to help one switch channels more comfortably.

Well, my broom handle worked like a charm! Picture a thirteen year old lying on the couch, smoking Export 'A' cigarettes, with a custom remote/broomhandle, switching back and fourth between 'Gilligans Island, and 'Hogans Heros' reruns.

Sweet!.

Unfortunately, his little paradise is about to be shattered because his younger brother has stumbled across his channel changer when he went to take a piss, and decided that it would make a hell of a great 'sword' in his play battles with his friends in the neighborhood………  

Fuck……….

Nowadays, we've got remotes that do all kinds of stuff. We've got options for altering the color (yes, I prefer the American spelling) contrast, hue, saturation, but the fucking worst has got to be 'aspect ratio.' Everytime I put in a movie, I've gotta sift thru all the presets to see which ones work best. Jesus, who thinks of this shit?

We've got 16:9, 4:3; or my favorite: 2.39:1. BZZZT! WRONG! They all relate to that dreadful human practice of trying to fit squares, or rectangles into circles to (you guessed it) MAKE OUR LIVES EASIER!!!

Now, I've always thought that Leibnitz's formula for â•¥ is the simplest for us non-mathematicians to use:

â•¥/4 = 1/1 -1/3 +1/5 -1/7 +…

But it sometimes gets hard to remember your place once you reach 12 digits, and, one rapidly runs out of paper space…

……o.k., o.k. you know I'm bullshitting you here, but I think I made my point.

Just because we can do all this shit, doesn't mean that we should.

Remember: just because you have a word processing program, doesn't mean you're a writer.

I'm living proof!

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