I'm bored. Time for a rant.

I work in a live music venue (actually, two) which affords me the luxury of seeing all kinds of bands. I won't claim to be an expert on what constitutes a successful show, but believe me, I've seen -and been involved in- a lot of shit in my time.

So…. here's a list of extremely tired cliches that I see at least several times a week:

-"Hello Toronto!" (or what ever city you happen to be in)

Addressing a crowd in a bar as if they are the ENTIRE city has got to be one of the stupidest things you can say. Especially if the room is only 10% full.

-"Hows everybody doing tonight?!?"

That's just fucking stupid……. Think about it. You're asking a group of people who are busy trying to get shit faced and have a good time, how they are. Don't be a moron.

-"And on lead guitar, we have Mr. Robert McGillicuddy!!"

This one always kills me. Even though they're just another scum-bag-living off their girlfriend musician, the singer addresses them as 'mister'. You know no-one else ever has.

-If you play guitar or bass, be sure to lean your guitar up against your amp after the final chord of the last song so that it feeds back while you exit the stage untill one of the crew comes out to turn it off. Gee, that's fucking original. Every alt-rock/punk/metal/goth/etc. band -including ME 15 years ago, has done it.

There's plenty more where this came from, and when I'm feeling particullarly vitriolic again, I'll add to it.

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